How I ride my confidence waves
I was very pleased to be asked by Sunita founder of Lucky Things Blog to appear on her new Podcast, to chat about confidence, wellbeing and my business. It was recorded last week and has just gone live. I really enjoyed the conversation, especially around confidence and felt compelled to write a blogpost about it.
One of the early questions Sunita asked me was ‘What does confidence mean to me?’ which really made me think. The first thought that came into my head was, the fact that it comes in waves, sometimes I feel really confident and sometimes I don’t. This can vary on a day-to-day basis and also can go through periods of high and low confidence so I thought I’d share some of my confidence moments and how I deal with the highs and the lows.
Growing confidence
I’m a naturally shy person so growing up I don’t think I ever really feel confident, I grew up on a farm in Devon and when I finished my A-Levels I really didn’t know what I wanted to do. Then I did an art foundation course, I’d always loved being creative so this made sense. And there I found an amazing teacher and a love for graphic design. It combined my love of art, creativity and the problem solving which I loved from studying Maths. My teacher saw something in me and encouraged me to go to University to do a degree, and not to go close to home. He gave me the confidence to leave home to study in London, which at the time was huge for me. Although it pushed me out of my comfort zone it was just what I needed, and have now been working in design for nearly 20 years.
Low confidence
when I came back from maternity leave after 6 months I found that my confidence was at an all time low. I felt the pressure to really prove myself again, even through I had been the Creative Director for 6 years previously. Combined with long commute and sometimes long hours, and I got to see little of my son, so I was finding that I was feeling unconfident at home as well as at work. The way that I helped my way through this was to write myself little notes of positivity. Sometimes this would be on post it notes or in my notepad, I’d then post on Instagram. I found that they helped me, they were like little daily reminders to myself and they worked. They gave me the courage to change things and try and achieve a better work life balance, so after one year I left my role to go freelance. It was the right choice at the right time and things worked out. Now 3 years later I run my own design agency Tickety Boo Creative from home.
Embracing high confidence
A moment that I felt really confident was when I had my first meeting with my US client, it was at their annual Gala event. I’d been working with them for about 7 months, but had never met them. I was there for a week and had lot’s of meetings while I was there, and some really senior people. I’d never been to meetings like this before on my own, usually I would be with someone more senior than me. But I relished in the moment, I felt so confident, I was proud of the work I’d been doing and finally I could do a meeting my way. They were really receptive, I even handed out some of my art prints (something that would have seemed strange before). This was really pivotal moment for me, my confidence and a good one to remember when my confidence takes a dip.
When my confidence is low I try and focus on the small wins, they sometimes get lost when I’m having a bad day.
Meeting new people
As I’m a naturally shy person, I still find it hard when I meet new people for the first time. So I try and put myself out of my comfort zone. In 2017 I went to my first networking event, Lucky Things Blog and that’s where I first met the wonderful Sunita. I’ve also met some amazing people through other events too. I still need to work on my elevator pitch but have realised that it’s so good to meet and connect with new people and that everyone is human.
When it comes to meeting new senior people in business it can be more tricky and have a couple of stories which have taught me loads. The first is when I met a chief customer officer in new business meeting, he’s a very clever man and was trying to figure me out so he asked lots of difficult questions. He kept saying ‘so is that what you think?’ so I started second guessing myself. And it got to the point I was even tongue tied, I was desperately thinking what did he want to hear rather than giving my opinion. I had another opportunity to impress the next day, so I regrouped myself, gathered all the courage I could and went back to him with ideas and bucket loads of confidence. We started the conversation joking about my love of brightly coloured fashion and his love of bold socks. This really helped put me at ease and the rest of the meeting went well.
Another new business meeting I had many years ago was with someone who was really shy. I’d always assumed that I’d be the most nervous one in a meeting. We were chatting for several minutes when I realised we’d been playing footsie under the table. I drew attention to it and apologised profusely, and from that moment it was a different meeting, much more relaxed. My old boss gave me advice that it’s always good to start by chatting to the receptionist, it puts you in right mindset and it’s always good to be friendly.
Riding the confidence wave
As I mentioned at the beginning I believe confidence comes in waves. So you need to make the most of when your confidence is high. When my confidence is low I try and focus on the small wins, they sometimes get lost when I’m having a bad day. Other tricks I have is that I’ve started journaling and have found that it really helps me, I pull out a thought for the day as a reminder to myself. Every morning I try to start with exercise or yoga, it helps set me up for the rest of the day. What does confidence mean to you?